Sweet Home Chicago!

Ok, so everyone knows that my husband and I had our big conference call today with the geneticist from Chicago. There is only one word to describe how we feel......................... FANTASTIC! They were so wonderful! The geneticist talked to us for over 45 minutes, gave us a step-by-step detail about what they will do, listed several options of what is available, gave us percentages of what they expect from me (23%- I will explain later) and put us at ease! I am telling you, they are wonderful. I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad that we are going through this clinic!

23% - This means that only 23% of the embryos that they biopsy will potentially be viable for transfer. Yeah, this is a low number, but it only takes 1!! I am just so glad that she is knowledgeable enough to give me a number! The little unknown things throughout the last cycle is what drove me nuts. Everyone knows that I need to know details, and this is making it so easy! I am telling you, Ms. El'Dahdah will be getting a big flower arrangement, or something as a "thanks" from us. I am so happy. We are so happy. This is going to be a wonderful experience.

More to come!
~Amy

Windy Sunday!

WOW! The wind out there today is crazy!!! We have been watching the weather worrying about my husband's parents and grandparents! They always seem to be in the line of tornadoes! So far, so good! There was a tornado last night that hit really close to our friends in Enid, but we found out this morning, that they are fine. I guess it officially tornado season!

We had a wonderfully relaxed weekend. I got to catch up with some old friends and hang out with little Dane (4) on Friday. Kids are hilarious. Every time he wanted to ask me a question, get my attention, or just simply wanted to say something he said, "Um.. excuse me..." Precious. I REALLY appreciate the value of parents teaching their children manners. In today's world, it seems like it is few and far between. We cleaned the house Friday night (what has happened to my exciting life) and were in bed by 10:30pm. Saturday we worked in the yard and I planted flowers in pots. We all know that I am not the best "green thumb" in the world so I am starting with pots. So far, so good, but it has only been 24 hours. Later that day, my friend Jami came up to see our house and brought the family. I feel bad because I overloaded them with sugar. They found every nook and cranny in my house that had candy and then I baked them homemade chocolate chip cookies. They were on a sugar high. Jami let me know later that they crashed on the way home. Hey... at least they were not wound up for the 45 minute drive home! I told her that rules do not apply when they are at Aunt Amy and Uncle Z's house!

Today we tried a new church.... still looking.... Why is it so hard to find the perfect church? We go to so many churches that our friends go to and love, but it is just not the right one for us! I feel like we will know that the church is for us the first time we go. Maybe I am setting my expectations too high. After church we went to my grandmothers, but stopped at a new shoe store, where I bought 2 new pairs. I have an addiction. Everyone please keep my grandmother in your prayers. For those that know her personally, you know that she is one tough broad. My mother, bless her heart, tends to be a little over dramatic when she describes how my grandmother is doing but this time I saw it for my own eyes. She is not well. We are very concerned about her. All good thoughts and prayers are appreciated!

Wednesday is our conference call with Dr. El'Dahdah in Chicago. She is so nice. Just from the one conversation and one email I have had with her, I already feel at ease. I will make sure and blog Wednesday night so everyone knows how it went. Well, actually, as I say that, it might be Thursday because I have a Junior League meeting Wednesday. I am sitting here watching The Wrestler with my husband because he wanted to see it. I think I would rather stab needles in my eyeballs. I don't know, there is something about Mickey Rourke that bugs me! Everyone have a great week!
~Amy

It is Really Happening!

So I talked to my nurse yesterday and she told me that I need to make an appointment for a teleconference with the genetic counselors in Chicago! They want to talk to us prior to anything happening. My first reaction was why do I need to talk to ANOTHER geneticist when I already have talked to 6,000 people 6,000 times? Well, Michelle told me that this one will actually go into much more depth than the ones that we have talked to before. Also, it is mandatory to talk to them before they will proceed with anything. I am excited. I am excited to speak to a genetic team that handles PGD on a regular basis, hopefully they will give us new information, or should I say more specific information!

We are still looking for a church. We found one that we really liked, it is just that it is a little too contemporary for us. I wish that church the best though, it has a lot of really great people.... including one of our friends! ;) We are going to start a 5 week "church run" where we are going to try an Edmond (1) Methodist (2) Presbyterian (3) First Christian (4) Episcopal and (5) Lutheran church. We are hoping one of the 5 will be one that we can call home!

So to end this blog, I want to show off my cake. Tomorrow is Administrative Professionals Day and I wanted to make something for my A.A. I made a chocolate cake and tried a new icing, thanks to our resident cake expert, D'Andra. I topped it off with a flower, just to make it pretty? feminine? I am not sure... Here it is; you be the judge!

~Amy

My Birthday was a BLAST!

What a great time I had for my birthday! First, my coworkers got me a bottle of Bumble & Bumble shampoo and conditioner (my fave), we went to a fun birthday lunch, had a wonderful homemade cake and then had a party. Have you ever seen the movie Pursuit of Happiness? Well, I have met the female version, and her name is Jessica. A friend that came over found my husband's rubik's cube and was walking around with it, talking about how hard they were and Jessica simply said, "Oh, those are easy... I can do them really fast." We all were thinking, surely she is confused.... BOY! We were wrong! Magan screwed it up three more times, making it as difficult as possible to do, and within 5 minutes she was done! It was truly amazing. Here is proof:

I am telling you, it is insane. I told her she needs to go on a TV show or something, maybe become a competitive player, not sure, but she is a genius! Anyway, we had a nice time at our party and played 90's trivia. Thanks to my friend Eddie, the man who is the BEST at trivia, we did pretty well. We ended up getting into serious discussions like health care reform and children's vaccinations that kept us up until 2am!

Saturday my husband had to go into the office because they have a big trial that starts Monday, so my friend Neilly, her son Henry, and I went out for lunch and shopping. I went to Cloverleaf for the first time and it is a really cute store. We had a nice afternoon. Saturday night, my mom, brother-in-law, and in-laws went to Mama Roja on the lake for a birthday dinner. The food was good, but the atmosphere was better. If you want to go somewhere that reminds you that you are in the islands, that is the place. It was wonderful. My in-laws got me a bread maker, and I tried my first loaf today. I need to try again. It did not rise more than 1 inch. I baked it, but the crust was exceptionally hard and the inside was a little doughy. I am trying again tomorrow. Tonight, we went over to our friends house and cooked dinner and then went to their neighbors and met baby Sydney for the first time! She is only 6 days old, and absolutely precious! It is so sweet to see babies when they are so itty-bitty. She looks JUST like her daddy. Too cute!

Tomorrow starts my health regimen to get into the best health I can be in for my potential baby making adventure. I need to be as tip-top as possible! I am glad I had a weekend of birthday cake and Mexican food to send me off on a good start. My husband and I are getting up every morning at 5:30 to start our workout adventure! Wish us luck! Birth control will start in early to mid May and then a couple of weeks later, the weeks of shots begin! I cannot believe that it is almost here again!

What is on my mind tonight is (1) My hair and (2) Why did they kill Edie off of Desperate Housewives? (Deep, I know) What are they going to do about Edie's creepy husband, and when is this show going to pick back up or just go ahead and end? Anyway, I want a new hairstyle, no, I NEED a new hairstyle. I cut 5 1/2 inches off of my hair about 2 weeks ago, but that has not changed much, it is just not as long in the back. My front layers are still about the same. I want to cut it short, and I mean short-short. I want it to be way above my shoulders, I am just not sure I have the nerve to do it! I will keep everyone posted!

~Amy

It Looks Like it Snowed in Our House!

So, we are on for round 2! How am I feeling about it? Well, do you have the time to listen?? Nervous, anxious, panicked, excited, happy, scared; I could go on and on! I am really not sure how to feel right now. I am happy that I have been through it once before, regardless of the outcome, because I know exactly what to expect. I know each step, each pain, each joy, everything. I will not have the anxiety or the uncomforting feeling of the unknown. I will know the affects of the shots (although this time they are doubling my dose), I will know the discomfort of the ultrasounds, and I will know the happiness of seeing an egg being planted, and being pregnant, if only for an hour. I know that several people are concerned about my mental state and whether or not I can handle it if it does not go as we hope. I can honestly say that I will be fine, you all can rest! My mental state is not the issue, as I am a true believer in everything is pre-planned and there is nothing we can do to stop His plan. My issue will be the guilt; my guilt for disappointing everyone else. Do you remember as a child when you did something bad or wrong and instead of your mom getting mad and yelling at you, or punishing you, she told you how disappointed she was in your decision? Well multiply that empty, gut wrenching feeling by 1,000 and that is what it feels like not to be able to give your husband a child, or your family a grandchild. It is the worst! On a happier note, you all know I am a HUGE believer in signs (that is probably why am I such a fan of the movie Fools Rush In). Well, get this: (1) my implantation date would be around June 28th…. My mother’s birthday and (2) the babies will be in Chicago this time… where my family was born and raised! This time I know my grandfather will watch over them and this will be a success! I just feel it!

Moving on… tomorrow I turn 32!!! More importantly how is it April16th? What happened to January-March? I cannot get over how time has disappeared! I went to my first Junior League meeting last night and cannot wait to get involved! What a great organization. They do so much for Oklahoma City – it is just wonderful. Anyway, when I got back my husband was sanding the wall where our repair guy applied the plaster… we should have had him come back and finish the job… See; let me go back to the beginning. Our repairman came over last Friday while I was off and repaired some things, one being where the curve in our entry cracked. So, he plastered the wall and asked when he could come back and finish the job. Well, knowing our schedule, I could not give him a date so I told him we would finish it. (Since we are having a party tomorrow night, it HAS to be done) Ok, how hard is it to sand and paint??? My husband has a sander, I love to paint, easy breezy! Well back to last night. I come home and he is working away making the plaster smooth to match our texture with a cloud of dust surrounding him. It reminded me of Pig Pen from the Peanuts! Long story short, we got some stuff done and went to bed. This morning, however, there is about 1 inch of lovely white dust over EVERYTHING in our house. It is ridiculous. It spread, literally, throughout our entire house. Great…. As if we don’t already have enough to do to get ready for the party!!!
~Amy

Let the Countdown Begin!

We are on the books. After spending some time thinking about it, Amy and I have decided go through the entire process again. The drugs, the shots, and all the other good stuff will get cranked up in June with the implantation to occur in late June or early July. We are apprehensively optimistic. As we look forward to the upcoming happenings, we go into it with a better understanding of what the process entails.

Other than that things have been relatively quite. Tonight, I went ahead and gave Amy her birthday gift even though her birthday is not until Friday. I just couldn't wait. I got her a new wallet. She was pretty excited considering she knew what it was. For Amy's birthday dinner, we are going to try the new Mexican restaurant Mama Roja on Lake Hefner. Everyone says that it is excellent.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter holiday.
Z

I am Ready to Make Easter Baskets!

Tuesday night, my friend Jeremy brought over a ton of stuff for our annual “Basket Making” date. He is such a great uncle, and every year he buys (way too much) stuff for Easter baskets for his nieces and nephew. This year he only had one plastic bag stuffed full of leftovers… It is a record… Anyway, being a man, he brings the baskets to me so I can put them together and decorate them. I look forward to it every year. It is so fun. It is how I can vicariously live as if I have children to do this for! Also, I usually buy eggs or baskets for my husband's young cousins to have at Easter, but I just found out they will be in Fairview for Easter this year. Boo! I need a child! I am ready to make Easter baskets!!

Last night we went out with Scott, Neilly and baby Henry again. He is so funny. He is really excited about his tongue. I could entertain him for hours by covering my face and sticking out my tongue, so he could mimic me. He has the cutest little arms! His wrists look as if they are banded! Little chubby thing, so precious!

So, the latest on the fertility front… We have to have a decision made by Monday so I can get the medicines ordered, prepare my body, my mind, our spirits, and our doctors to go through this again! This time, if we choose to do it, I am going to get weekly massages, and see a couple’s therapist. Not that we need therapy, I would just like to have an independent third party be able to hear our concerns and frustrations and I don’t want us to have any stress. Those who know me know I am an advocate of therapy. It is just nice to let someone else hear your problems. I affectionately call it a mass vomit of information! If we go through it again, we will use the Chicago Fertility Institute for the PGD process. My doctor’s office was not real excited about using it last time because the eggs will actually be shipped to Chicago, tested there, and shipped back to Oklahoma City. The doctor’s office just felt better keeping the eggs here in Oklahoma, but I was not happy with the last process, and verbally expressed it. I had a bad feeling and we REFUSE to go through that process again. I just feel better about it. Good things come out of Chicago! ;) After all, we get to make that decision, it is our money. The weird thing is, now I am hearing that we can use the Chicago team and still keep the eggs here. That puzzles, and to be honest, angers me a little. We all need to get on the same page. Regardless, if we do this again, Sweet Home Chicago!

Everyone have a joyful Easter, and we will have news Monday!
~Amy

Where the Wind Comes Sweeping Down the Plain!

My gosh! Today it is so windy! Last night the wind blew over our shed in the backyard! This weather! The good news is, my husband's allergies are getting much better, hence I am sleeping again. We had a productive weekend changing our house once again. We painted our dining room, rearranged all of the family pictures on the wall and condensed them into one. Now our problem is not knowing what to do with the other wall. It is a mess!

Friday night we went to dinner with some friends to celebrate Hilary's birthday. I know I talk about their son, Mason, a lot but he is SO funny! After dinner, while he was waiting for his grandpa to take care of the check, he put on a show for us in front of the restaurant. He was a dancing machine. The best was when a family was leaving and they had 3 girls with them, that were about 8 years old and he stopped, looked, and began to do a John Travolta meets M.C. Hammer show for them. We all were laughing so hard, I thought Jamie might go into labor. Speaking of, bless her heart. She is all of 5 foot, 100 pounds (soaking wet) before she became pregnant and she is due in 2 weeks. I feel so badly for her because you can tell she is miserable, but puts on her best game face. Her little feet look like if you poked them, they would explode. I am really not sure how she is walking!

Today, I went to Norman for my best friend's daughter's 8 year old birthday party. It was, as I have mentioned, a Spa party with 9 8-year old girls. It was a blast and absolutely hilarious however, I think that it was a sign from God that if we have to adopt, we need boys! OMG! I forgot how hyper and high-maintenance little girls are! This serves as a public apology to my mother and all of my friend's mothers for how I behaved from age 6-12! Lord have Mercy, I am EXHAUSTED! Here is a picture of the girls with their masks. It was really a lot of fun. Also, look how my little "niece" has grown up! I remember the day she was born! Time flies!

~Amy

I need sleep!

So my friend Magan called me to let me know of a huge sale at a store in Piedmont, Arden and Associates, and I am so glad she did! The bargains that she was telling me she got made me have to take an hour of annual leave and go out there. I called my friend Jeremy and he went with me. I am always happy to shop with him because he inevitably spends more money than I do, which makes me feel better about myself! Needless to say, I walked out with 7 new pieces of art. SALE of the CENTURY!

I have been sleep deprived lately because my poor husband’s allergies are out of control. Is anyone else having problems? I have felt so bad for the guy, so this morning when I woke up I was real sweet and asked him if he was just exhausted, and his response was, “No, I slept really well.” Lucky man, because if I say I got 4 hours of sleep, I am being generous. Tonight I might sleep in the guest room!

My 32nd birthday is coming up in 15 days. I am not upset about it because once I tackled 30; it is just another year to be happy that I am alive! My boss was in my office earlier and saw me email a picture of a Tory Burch wallet that I want for my birthday to my husband and she was in shock. She could not believe that my sweet little husband would need help getting me a gift because he is always so perfect. Well, here is my husband’s deepest, darkest secret. I love him to pieces, but gift selection is not his forte. (For those of you who remember his very expensive coffee table book on Ralph Lauren that he got me for our first Christmas, you understand.) It is just easier this way. We surprise each other at Christmas and Valentines, but birthdays are “here, this is what I want.” Silly, huh?

Do you want to know how I know that I am madly in love with my husband? I cry when I hear Kelly Clarkson’s “My Life Would Suck Without You.” This totally “pop” song that in no way is meant to be a mushy song comes on and I just tear up! It just fits us! It is not that we are dysfunctional because we fight, it is just we are SO opposite, most people would think we would be dysfunctional. Neither of us have ever dated someone like one another. He is shy, tender, really nice, laid back and easy going. I am loud, high strung; speak my mind, full of energy and always on the go, but we are so happy (again speaking for him as well because he hardly gets a word in edgewise)! It is wonderfully bizarre.

I had another conversation with my doctor’s office yesterday. They really want me to try In-vitro again, as they think that my chances are still really high. They have me in the books, in pencil, for June to begin the process. We can’t decide what to do because it is SO expensive and we are not sure how we will come up with that much money. We always said, before we started this journey, that we would do In-vitro 3 times, and if we were not successful, we would know it was not meant to be. $63,000 for a baby….. That still shocks me. That is a nice new car! Again, “Angry Amy” comes out thinking we have to pay all this money to have a baby and crack addicts, abusers, etc… can have as many as they want and then cost US a ton of money raising their children. It makes me nauseous! I told them that we would have an answer by Monday, the 13th. Decisions, decisions!

Have a great weekend!
~Amy